6 Things Not Say To My Autistic Daughter and What to Say Instead

“Mom, I think I might be autistic,” announced my then 16-year-old daughter to me and her father, one Sunday afternoon.

An avid reader, Adrianna had stumbled onto an article about autism, and it resonated deeply with her because she had been struggling with a variety of social and sensory issues. The information in the article seemed like a reasonable explanation compared to the patchwork of ideas that she had put together about why she was so different.

I feel ashamed to say that, initially, my husband and I blew off the idea of her being on the spectrum because she didn’t seem to fit the typical description of an autistic child. She was very articulate, she had no obvious repetitive behaviors (or so we thought), and she seemed sociable enough. She was also an African-American female, and I had never heard or saw stories about Black girls with autism. 

But Adrianna continued to do more research in the form of online self-assessment tests, and by reading more articles and blogs. After several more conversations, we scheduled an appointment with a psychologist to the start the process of getting her evaluated, and Adrianna was officially diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) in early 2023, at the age of 21.

So What is Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)?

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a neurological and developmental disorder that affects how people interact with others, communicate, learn, and behave. Although autism can be diagnosed at any age, it is described as a “developmental disorder” because symptoms generally appear in the first 2 years of life.

Below are some examples of common types of behaviors in people diagnosed with ASD, according to the National Institute for Mental Health. Not all people with ASD will have all behaviors, but most will have several of the behaviors listed below.

  • Making little or inconsistent eye contact or intensely staring at a person
  • Appearing not to look at or listen to people who are talking
  • Displaying facial expressions and gestures that do not match what is being said
  • Difficulties adjusting behaviors to social situations
  • Difficulties sharing in imaginative play or in making friends
  • Having an unusual tone of voice that may sound sing-song or flat and robot-like
  • Having a lasting intense interest in specific topics, such as numbers, details, or facts
  • Being more sensitive or less sensitive than other people to sensory input, such as light, sound, clothing, or temperature
  • Being able to learn things in detail and retain information for long periods of time
  • Being strong visual and auditory learners
  • Excelling in math, science, music, or art

Although Adrianna is learning how to manage the symptoms that come with ASD, and is finding success, dealing with social expectations can be difficult especially when confronted with the callous comments from well-meaning, and sometimes not so well-meaning people. 

So below are some things NOT to say to a person on the spectrum, as well as some alternative statements to use, instead.

1. “Why are you so shy?”

My daughter and I recently attended a banquet hosted by a local Junior League chapter. We happened to be seated at a table with a woman who talked incessantly about herself, and dominated the entire conversation.

She talked so much that I could hardly get a word in, and I’m a very outgoing and talkative person. My daughter, who looked like she was feeling slightly overwhelmed, quietly sat there and listened.

After a while, the woman stopped talking, looked at my daughter, and asked, “Why are you so shy?” My daughter and I were taken aback by her rude comment, and I said, “Maybe she was waiting for you to stop talking”. We left shortly after that interaction.

The truth is that people on the autistic spectrum sometimes deal with social anxieties that make it difficult to interact with others, and many times they have difficulties making friends. 

It’s important to not make quick judgements about who you think they are, creating more barriers that only further distance them from others.

What you can say instead: I would love to get to know you better. Can you tell me a little bit about yourself? 

If the situation lends itself to this, you can ask them to go to lunch (dinner, brunch) so that the two of you can continue to conversation. This helps create community which people on the spectrum desperately need.

2. “You should smile more.” 

I cannot tell you how many time someone has said this to my daughter. She has had complete strangers in stores, at malls, even at church come up to her, and tell to “smile”. 

People with autism often express their emotions differently which sometimes leads people to assume that they are angry or upset.

I get that sometimes people are uncomfortable when they are interacting with someone who may not be smiling, but that’s not really the other person’s problem. If you feel insecure on uncomfortable, that might be a good time to do some self-evaluation. It’s not the other persons job to make you feel better about who you are.

We simply do not have the right to tell someone what to do with their body. This includes their face, which last time I heard, was on a persons body. As a general rule, you should also avoid offering suggestions to people you don’t know and who haven’t asked for your help.

What you can say instead: Nothing! Remember, we don’t get to tell people what to do with their bodies.

3. “Why are you staring at me like that?” 

According to the Above and Beyond ABA Therapy website, persons with autism use intense staring “as a way for them to regulate sensory input and manage sensory overload”.

My daughter had a couple of very interesting interaction as a result of her “staring” at people. The first one was with a professor when she was a student at a local university.

The second incident happened between her and her psychologist, oddly enough. Both men told her that they felt very uncomfortable and intimidated by her staring.

Her father and I jokingly told her that her staring is a superpower, and anytime she needed to scare someone, all she needed to do was to give them an intense stare.

Sometimes people on the spectrum have trouble looking people directly in the eye, and there eyes will wander away from the person they are talking to or who may be talking to them.

The reason for this is that making eye contact can be uncomfortable and stressful for people with autism, especially in social situations. They may also find it difficult to understand social cues and non-literal language.

What you can say instead: “You have an intense look on your face”, or “I notice you’re looking away from me. Is everything okay?” 

Asking if they are okay let’s a person with autism know that you’re concerned about them, and that you care.This can be very affirming, especially to people who have ASD.

4. “You don’t look autistic. You seem so normal.”

Honestly, what does that even mean?

We are now discovering that autism comes in many colors, shapes, and sizes. It also shows up in people who are outgoing and extroverted.

Adrianna has a good friend who has ASD who is extremely outgoing, and very expressive. Adrianna, although highly verbal and intelligent, is much more reserved, and introverted.

Autism Spectrum Disorder is just that–it’s a spectrum or a scale between two extreme or opposite points. Depending on where a person lands on the spectrum, they can have more or less severe symptoms.

What you can say instead: Can you explain what it means to be autistic?

It’s okay to admit that you don’t know very much, if anything, about Austism Spectrum Disorder, and to use the opportunity as a learning experience. 

5. “Don’t worry, everyone’s a little autistic.”  

Actually, that’s not true at all. Sometimes people don’t know what to say when someone tells them about a difficult situation, so instead of being quiet and listening, they say something condescending and dismissive.

According to the National Institute of Health (NIH), 1 in 45 adults in the U.S. are diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). 

While society is much more aware of autism today than ever before thanks to improved public health outreach and increased screening, advocacy and awareness efforts, there are likely many adults with autism who never received a diagnosis or were misdiagnosed. 

Everyone, however, doesn’t have autism, and we should be careful about saying such things.

What you can say instead: “I really have no idea what it’s like to be autistic, but I’m here if you would like to talk about it.” This is a thoughtful, respectful way of honoring someone’s diagnosis.

6. ‘Girls don’t get autism. That’s a boy thing.”

To be fair, until recently the poster child for autism has been white children, specifically little white boys.

Research shows that autism in adult women and girls can look different than men and boys. According to the DSM-5-TR, the American Psychiatric Association’s most recent diagnostic manual of mental disorders including autism spectrum disorder (ASD), autistic girls and women may present with:

  • Better reciprocal conversation skills
  • Higher likelihood of sharing interests with others
  • Better ability to understand verbal and nonverbal communication
  • Better ability to modify their behavior based on the situation
  • Less obvious repetitive behaviors
  • More socially accepted special interests (like celebrities or animals)

Sometimes, girls learn how to mask autistic traits or overcompensate for them, in order to appear more neurotypical or “normal” to others. This means that they may not get diagnosed until their teen or adult years.

What you can say instead: “Oh, wow! I didn’t realize that autism affected girls. Can you tell more about your journey?”

Some Final Thoughts About Neurodiversity

Neurodiversity refers to the concept that people interact with the world in different ways, and that there is no one “right” way to think, learn, or behave.

We live in a world full of people with various neurodiversities including autism, ADHD, dyslexia, Down Syndrome, and more. As a community, we have a responsibility to educate ourselves about these behaviors so that we can better support people who are living with these challenges.

.For more information about Autism Spectrum Disorder, visit https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/autism-spectrum-disorders-asd#part_2281

To follow Adrianna’s ASD journey, visit her Brown Girl on the Spectrum TikTok channel.

Autism and College: What Students and Their Parents Should Know

College can be overwhelming and challenging under the best of circumstances. Still, the traditional college scene for a young adult with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), without the proper support, can be a nightmare. 

Such was the case for my youngest daughter, Adrianna, who was not diagnosed with ASD until the age of 21.

Adrianna graduated from high school in May of 2019 as the salutatorian of her academy and was the recipient of the Zell Miller Scholarship which paid a hundred percent of her tuition.  

She started college as a music major at Clayton State University, a local university in Atlanta, Georgia. Although she commuted to school and talked to me and her father every day, little did we know that she was silently struggling with a myriad of physical, social, and emotional triggers as a college student.

As I look back on Adrianna’s years at Clayton State University, it’s painful for me to think of how she suffered, so the purpose of this article is to help others avoid some of the emotional turmoil and angst that my daughter suffered.

I recently interviewed Adrianna and asked her several questions about her experience as a student with ASD, and below are some insights that students and parents can use to better navigate ASD on their college journey.

What are some of the physical challenges you struggled with as a student on the spectrum when you attended college? 

I have a lot of sensory issues so the cacophony of noises in large classrooms, hallways, and in the cafeteria overwhelmed my brain. I’m also sensitive to fluorescent lighting which triggers headaches and migraines.

Then there are the food allergies which are common with people who have ASD. I am lactose intolerant, allergic to nuts, and I am not able to tolerate the smell of salmon, tuna, or fish of any kind which makes eating on a college campus kind of tricky. I regularly struggled to find food that I was able to eat.

I didn’t know it at the time, but I had issues with gluten which means that I cannot eat any wheat-based products, so I was eating things on campus and at home that were making me sick without even realizing it.

It was only after becoming very ill in 2022, that we discovered I am gluten intolerant. 

What were some of the social issues you faced when you were a student on campus?

Because of my social anxiety issues, I did not make any friends. I felt like I never felt connected to anybody. I felt like a dangling participle.

ASD makes it hard for me to pick up on social cues, and interpret facial expressions and other gestures, so I didn’t know whether my professors or the other students liked me or whether I was doing socially awkward things. 

Not being able to read social queues is a terrifying experience. It’s like being blind. You cannot gain vital information that you need to function well. I was in a constant state of anxiety because I never knew if I was doing something wrong.

You were not diagnosed with autism until you were 21 years old. Why do you think it took so long for us to recognize that you might be on the spectrum?

I remember you and Dad being very surprised when I first came and told you that I thought I might be on the spectrum because I was a girl and I didn’t seem to have any obvious symptoms. 

We now know that I was “masking” which, according to the National Autistic Society, “is a strategy used by some autistic people, consciously or unconsciously, to appear non-autistic”. Girls, in particular, have long been underdiagnosed because they are usually better at “masking” than boys.

What can a student or parent do if they think that they or their student might be on the spectrum?

If you suspect that something is not right or that you may be on the spectrum, you need to see a neurologist or a psychologist and start the process of examination.  

A good place to start the process of examination would be with your family physician who may be able to refer you to a specialist. Also, talk with your insurance company to see what specialists are in your network of care.

According to online resources, a typical full evaluation can range between $1700-$2,300 depending on your age. This includes the initial diagnostic interview, additional testing, report writing, as well as the final feedback appointment.

Getting a diagnosis is important because it will help you better chart a path forward, and I personally felt a sense of relief knowing that what I was experiencing finally had a name.

Where can you go to get a diagnosis if you don’t have insurance?

Only a licensed neurologist and certain kinds of psychologists can test for ASD, but the counseling center and or the office of disability services at your college or university may be able to offer referrals to doctors in your area who do ASD testing and diagnoses including low or no-cost providers.

How can a student with ASD or other neurodivergent issues seek out special accommodations and additional support from their college or university?

Although I did not receive any special accommodations, according to the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), colleges are legally required to provide reasonable accommodations to students diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).

It’s important to understand, though, that once a student gets a diagnosis, they are responsible for initiating the process of requesting accommodations with their counselor by contacting the disability services office and providing documentation of their disability. The college is not responsible for initiating this process.

What can students with ASD and their parents do to manage their expectations about the college experience? 

The more you know and understand ASD and how it specifically looks for you, the better you will be able to navigate your college experience. 

This will require lots of patience, introspection, and communication. You may even need the assistance of a professional therapist to help you chart a path and develop a plan to move forward.

What are some other options for pursuing a college degree/higher education?

After leaving Clayton State University, I decided to enroll at Auguste Escoffier School of Culinary Arts which is based out of Boulder, CO. I started an online program in January of 2024, and I am currently enrolled in their Hospitality Operations and Restaurant Management program. 

Most people with autism have what is called a special interest. Baking has been a special interest for me since I was a little child, so being able to go to school and pursue a degree doing what I have always loved makes me very happy.

How has doing school online helped you socially?

I used to think that it was important to have lots of friends in the same age group that you meet up with and do all of the same things with, but I now realize that you can have friends from different age groups and backgrounds. It doesn’t all have to be homogenous. I also don’t need to make a lot of friends. I just need a few good friends.

It may seem like a paradox, but doing school online helps me socially because it takes the pressure off of me. I don’t feel as overwhelmed and I have been able to make friends on my terms.

Besides the financial support, as parents, what can we do to provide support for our neurodivergent students?

Having parents who listen and being able to honestly communicate my struggles is everything!

When I first came and told you and Daddy that I thought I might be on the spectrum, you initially did not believe me, but as I continued to do research and share that information with you both, you started to listen and finally had me tested. 

Since then, we have had dozens of conversations about ASD, and you immersed yourselves in reading and learning more about autism, and have been very supportive of my journey.

Being able to honestly share your struggles with your parents, and having them as advocates makes the challenges with ASD a lot easier. 

In addition to pursuing your degree at Escoffier, what other things are you doing to advance your career in the culinary arts industry?

In addition to pursing my degree in culinary arts, I own and operate my home-based baking business, Cauthen Confections, and for 18-months, I spent time working in the commercial kitchens as a pastry and line cook which enabled me to gain more experience in the industry.

Are there any specific online resources that you can recommend to others who may be looking for more information about ASD or other practical support?

Yes, there are several organizations and online resources that we as a family have used for education and support, including Autism Speaks, The Association for Autism and Neurodiversity, and the National Association for Autism.

There are also a couple of good articles that I recommend parents read including an article about how to be a good listener,  (https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/six-lessons-in-good-listening), and another article specifically about autism in girls (https://www.verywellhealth.com/signs-of-autism-in-girls-260304).

Tis’ the Season to Take Care: 4 Ways to Manage Autism Spectrum Disorder During the Holidays

The time for gathering with friends and family to carve and eat the Thanksgiving turkey, and to prepare our homes for Christmas day by “decking the halls”, is almost upon us. 

For many of us this is a joyous time of year, full of festivities and fun, but for those who deal with the challenges of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), or another type of neurodivergent disorder, this can be a time of anxiety and angst.

Such was the case for my youngest daughter, Adrianna, who was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder in early 2023. She recently shared that the holidays have always presented triggers for her. Everything from the parties, to the changes in routine that the holidays bring, and the different foods, felt like an attack on her senses. 

Listening to and learning alongside my daughter, as she navigates and manages her challenges with ASD, gives me a unique opportunity to share some practical solutions that can help others with neurodivergent issues. Below are four suggestions that will hopefully enable you, or someone you love, enjoy the holiday experience and avoid a crisis.

1. Watch your diet.

Holiday foods can be a major hurdle for people who have ASD, and for those who struggle with other neurodivergent disorders.

A 2013 study found that children and adults with autism have increased immune reactivity to gluten, a protein found in wheat, as shown by higher levels of gluten-related antibodies in their blood. 

Most holiday menus are filled with gluten-filled foods which present particular problems for people who need to avoid wheat-based foods, so here are some dining alternatives.

If you’re attending a potluck, bring your own dish or entree to share.This way you know there will be something for you to eat. If you have been invited to another type of event, eat before you go, and that way you’re not hungry, and won’t feel the pressure to eat things that are not good for you. Fix something to eat before you leave, and plan on eating when you return.

Ironically, my daughter, a culinary arts student and the owner of Cauthen Confections, a home-based baking business, discovered that she is gluten-intolerant after becoming very ill in early 2023.

As a result, she began to explore gluten-free, alternative recipes for some of her desserts and favorite savory dishes. This allows her to still eat most of her favorite foods during the holidays, and she is also able to offer gluten-free alternative dessert options to others who are allergic to gluten.

2. Control the stimulation.

As the mother of a daughter with ASD, I have come to understand how important it is for my daughter to listen to her body and make the necessary adjustments to regulate. 

Being overstimulated can cause a person dealing with a neurodivergent disorder like ASD to become dysregulated, so it’s important to give yourself permission to pull away from the crowd when you’re feeling overwhelmed. 

If you’re having a party in your home, you may need to quietly remove yourself and go to your bedroom, for a few minutes. If an event is taking place at another venue, go outside for a little while to get away from the noise, or go and sit in your car. 

Some people with ASD, like my daughter Adrianna, have particular problems with rooms where there is no carpet to absorb the sounds. The echoes and the cacophony of sounds created when lots of people come together overloads her senses. 

When this happens, she will find another part of the building where it’s quiet and sit by herself for a while. If she’s in a public space, like a mall, she will use a set of headphones to drown out noise.

3. Set goals for social gatherings.

Social gatherings can be tricky business for lots of people, but for those who struggle with ASD, it can be a living nightmare. 

Adrianna shared that seeing extended family and old friends that she hadn’t seen in a longtime, and who expected her to pick up the relationship where they had last left off felt weird and awkward. Reconnecting socially can be especially hard for someone who has ASD and is already struggling with social anxiety.

One of the things to remember is that you don’t have to talk or interact with everybody. 

Find a small group of people, and chime in about something relevant when you feel comfortable. 

Plan some things ahead of time that you would like to share with others. If you’re at a gathering with people you know, share updates about your life. You can even use the time to educate people about ASD, although don’t overdo it. You don’t want to turn the gathering into an ASD workshop. When you feel like you have met your goals, or if you feel yourself getting drained and tired, pull away to a quiet place, or leave the party.

One interesting fact that my daughter, Adrianna, shared is that she seems to connect more easily with people who are different from her in some way. 

For example, if she were to meet a 23-year-old Black female who had a similar background as herself, that person would have all of the cultural context to see all of the ways in which she differs, however, if she were to strike up a conversation with a 40-year-old man from Mexico, they would not necessarily see her as odd. 

The great thing about doing this is that it allows you to cross cultural, racial, and gender boundaries and make a wide variety of friends.

4. Take time to reset.

As I mentioned previously, the holidays and all that comes with it, can be physically and emotionally draining, so you must take time out to reset.

There are many ways to do this, and ultimately, you have to decide what’s best for you.

Some of the ways my daughter, Adrianna, resets herself is by getting to a quiet place, usually her bedroom, and getting away from noise. As an introvert and someone who has ASD, being alone is restorative and live-giving.

Refreshing oneself can include writing your thoughts down in a journal, taking a walk or doing some other form of exercise, curling up on the sofa with a cup of tea and watching a classic holiday movie, going to a yoga class or winding down with your favorite tunes. 

And don’t forget to breathe– a deep in-through-the-nose-out-through-out-the-mouth, slow release, cleansing kind of breath.Taking time to be still and breathe deeply, at regular intervals throughout the day, helps to heal both body and soul.

Wishing you all the happiest of holidays, and remember to take care.

Autism in the Workplace: Charting a Path to Job Success As A Neurodivergent

Employees with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) often struggle with neurodevelopmental issues which affect social interaction, communication, and behavior in the neurotypical workplace.

A recent Forbes report says that only 32 percent of adults with autism are employed, compared to over 70 percent of neurotypical adults. This demonstrates the systemic barriers that individuals with autism face while pursuing meaningful employment. This statistic is true even for people with autism who have college degrees.

Such has been the case for my daughter, Adrianna, a baking professional, who was diagnosed with autism at age 21.

A Little Bit of History

Adrianna’s love for culinary arts led to the start of her professional culinary career at age 12 when she began baking for various community events.

After graduating high school, Adrianna took a short detour from her passion for food to study music at a local university. She quickly realized that this was not what she wanted, decided to leave the program, and returned to her original calling of cooking and baking.

Shortly after leaving college, Adrianna enrolled in the Boulder, Colorado-based Auguste Escoffier School of Culinary Arts as an online externship student in the Hospitality Operations and Restaurant Management program.

Although Adrianna owns Cauthen Confections, a home-based business, she also took a part-time job as an assistant baker with a popular cookie chain. And that’s when she began to experience problems.

A Rude Awakening

Almost immediately, Adrianna discovered that working in commercial kitchens presented huge challenges. 

Her struggles with multitasking, along with the various sensory triggers in a commercial bakery, quickly became evident. She was also plagued with feelings of anxiety because she had difficulty observing and interpreting social cues.

“Not being able to read social cues and nuances is a terrifying experience,” Adrianna said. “I imagine that it’s like being blind. You lack the vital information that you need to function well and feel emotionally safe.”

“Also, being likable plays into being successful at work,” she continued. “I didn’t always know whether my bosses or coworkers liked me or whether I was doing things that were socially awkward. Because of this, I often felt that I had to overcompensate at work. This created a lot of stress for me.”

Because her hours at work had been drastically reduced, she eventually left the bakery, and took a job as a line cook at a high-volume, full-service restaurant, and things went from bad to worse. 

“Working there was like working for Gordon Ramsey in Hell’s Kitchen,” Adrianna said. “In addition to working long hours for low pay, I was completely overwhelmed by the fast pace, and most days, I was frantic and drained, both physically and emotionally,” she continued. “It had gotten to the point where I dreaded the thought of going to work.” 

Adrianna eventually quit that job, and after a short break, took another job as a line cook in a high-end Italian restaurant. After only working one week, however, the general manager told her that things were not working out, and let her go.

“I was devastated,” said Adrianna. “I felt like such a failure.”

Taking Time to Reassess

Exhausted and unable to go on, Adrianna decided to stop working, and take some time to evaluate what she needed to do in order to move forward. 

“I wasn’t sleeping very much because of all of the stress, so it took several weeks for me to just feel like myself again,” Adrianna said. “But once I did, I realized that part of my problem was that I had unrealistic expectations and didn’t understand the limitations that come with being autistic.”

“Not only was I working 30 plus hours a week, not including the travel time on public transportation, I was in school and working my business on the side,” said Adrianna. “This would be a lot for anybody, much less someone with autism.” 

During her time off from work, Adrianna competed in Chef Carla Hall’s Favorite Chef competition. The contest was a collaboration between celebrity chef Carla Hall, the James Beard Foundation, and the Taste of Home Magazine. The winner would receive a grand prize of $25,000, a television show appearance, and be featured on the cover of the Taste of Home magazine.

There were approximately 56,000 contestants in the competition when it began. Adrianna made it to the semifinals which consisted of the 48 top contestants, and came in seventh, overall.

“Although I didn’t win the contest, making it to the semifinals was a real boost to my self-esteem,” Adrianna said. “It helped me to see that people saw my talent, believed in me, and that gave me the mental energy I needed to do the next thing.” 

Finding a Path Forward

Adrianna returned to work as a part-time assistant baker in a commercial bakery, but only long enough to pay off the remainder of her tuition. She realized that long hours in a commercial kitchen does not work for her.

“One of the most important things that I learned during my break was that continuing to push through was counterproductive,” Adrianna said. “It leads to more burnout, and everytime you burn out, it gets harder and harder to get back to 100 percent.”

Taking time to reassess also helped Adrianna to see that there was more than one way to move forward in the culinary arts industry.

“I realized that I needed to be creative and think outside the box in order to work with my ASD,” Adrianna said. 

“Since I already have a home-based business, I decided to spend more building the Cauthen Confections brand,” she said. “I’m able to showcase my baked goods on my website and fill catering orders. I also sell my baked goods via GrubHub, and I use my personal social media platforms to produce cooking videos, advertise my business and teach cooking classes.”

Adrianna also talked about the importance of persons with ASD assessing and leveraging their resources.

“My mom owns Cauthen Enterprises, a business that facilitates retail pop-up markets, so I’ve been able to sell my baked goods at these events,” said Adrianna, who also works as the vendor coordinator/administrative assistant for Cauthen Enterprises.

“In addition to finishing my culinary arts program, I plan to continue to get a better understanding of how autism presents for me, and to work with my therapist to learn workarounds for some of my triggers,” said Adrianna. “Who knows? I may be able to return to a commercial kitchen space, but this works for me for now.” 

A Word to the Community

Adrianna believes that there needs to be a paradigm shift in the way hiring managers interview and screen applicants because traditional methods don’t work for most people on the autism spectrum.

“I feel like the cards are stacked against people with autism from the very beginning of the screening process,” she said. “For instance, the personality tests that companies use put people on the spectrum at a disadvantage. They test for qualities that people on the spectrum lack, but fail to look for other qualities that we can bring to the workplace.”

She also explained how traditional resumes don’t always work for people who have neurodivergent issues. 

“Hiring managers want to see a resume that shows a consistent work history, but I, and a lot of people with autism, struggle with something called ‘uneven productivity,’” said Adrianna.

“Some days, we can work long hours and get a lot of things done, and on other days we can barely accomplish anything,” Adrianna said. “This makes it very difficult for us to work traditional jobs, since most companies expect a consistent level of output each day. If you can’t mass produce on their terms, you’re of no worth to them, and they let you go. This ends up leaving gaps in your resume.”

Adrianna stressed that companies need to educate themselves about autism, and look for other qualities that people with ASD can bring to the workplace.

“Many autistic people are highly intelligent and have abilities and unique skills that can be of great benefit to many employers,” Adrianna said. “Some of the skills include strong focus, problem-solving abilities, and an unparalleled attention to detail which can prove advantageous and lead to high-quality work.”

Although autism has certain common characteristics and features, the disorder presents differently for each individual, and Adrianna emphasized that it’s important not to assume that everybody with autism is the same. 

“There’s a popular quote in the autism community that says, ‘if you’ve met one person with autism, you’ve met one person with autism,’ which is very true,” Adrianna said. “Each individual should be evaluated to see what specific talents and skills they can bring to the workplace.”